California Candids suck...so much people didn't like their pictures...

I don't really like my pictures, but of course, I never like my pictures.

Guess what...me and Jr were in line for pictures and the cashier gave me a receipt to give to the photographer and so...I paid for 20 wallets and 2 "5 x "7's and I was wondering if I checked the one that said 36 wallets, would they really check it, would I get in trouble for making the attempt? So was I like eff it, I'll check it...and guess what...they gave me the 36 wallets...haha. So instead of getting 20 wallets, I got 56...that's a lot! Haha...that's how much California Candids suck...but it's okay...I got a lot of pictures.

Is that considered as stealing? Because uh...I sort of promised Jr that I would TRY to stop...but he was there when I did it...so it's okay then right? Oh well...I'll tell him and he'll probably laugh about it.

And oh yeah...guess what...Jr FINALLY went to my blog...whoa. Haha...I think that that's pretty cool.

I bought Jr's gift today for our one year...it cost a lot! But it's okay...it's for Jr, and I already felt bad for not being here for our one year...so yeah. Hope he likes it.

The prayers for my grandma will be held at my house till the day they go to P.I...that was my grandma's last wish, to be buried in the P.I next to her husband and to her son...they're trying to find tickets, it'll probably be my dad and my step-mom, if not my dad then just my step-mom...I don't know yet.

Well yeah...don't know what else to say...so...that is all.

Spent the weekend shopping, sleeping, eating, and walking in Vegas. Stayed at the Luxor Hotel...the one that looks like the pyramid...ate a lot at buffets that cost a grip...uh...yeah, that's just a summary of it...a very, very, little summary of it. I can't really think right now and I miss my cousin... =(

But yeah...came home yesterday and I'm still sleepy...and well...

This morning close to 3 a.m...my step-mom's mom died. I guess that it's good that she's resting now because she's been suffering for such a long time and now...yeah...she gets to rest now. It's so sad...I mean, I know that she's my step-mom's mom but that doesn't mean that I don't care or anything...because I do...*sigh*

Like I said...I can't really think right now...so for now, that is all.

So, it's been a busy week...

One of my favorite cousin's is here visiting from the P.I...we haven't seen each other for like 7 years...we've been taking her out, so I'm hardly home, and since she stays in my room...we sleep late (because she keeps me up...hehe) and I have to wake up early to go to school, but it's okay.

Guess what...my parents and my brothers (who act like my parents) have been bugging yet once again. I don't understand...the fate of who shall graduate in white and who shall not graduate in white has been determined...so why can't they just drop it? They constantly bug me about studying and crap...I'm getting tired of it. I mean, if my brothers are getting tired of saying things to me and I'm getting tired of hearing it, so why won't they both do us a favor and stop saying things so I can stop hearing them. WHATEVER.

I won't be here for the weekend, the family is taking my cousin out to Vegas...I wish I was staying here so I can be here for me and Jr's one year anniversary...and I want to go though so I can hang out with my cousin more and since she can't gamble or anything because the age to gamble in Vegas is 21...but I don't know if I can handle staying with my brothers in one car for 6 hours...but if I stay home...I know that my parents will make me study...whatever...I'm going

*Message for Jr* Just wanted to say HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY...I'm happy that we've lasted this long...and I'm sorry that I can't be here for our 1 year...but I'm glad that you understand...Thank you. I wonder when you'll be reading this...hm....hehe. Well...just take care and yeah...I love you.
*End of message*

Well yeah...hopefully I'll have fun at Vegas...I know that it's hot though...but hey...there's a lot of outlets. Hopefully I can get something for Jr there...haven't got him anything yet...shhh. Hehe...well yeah...don't know what else to say...

Soo...as I always say at the end of every entry...that is all.

*sigh* Things are "a okay" with me and Jr now...I'm so relieved. We were both irritated and cranky...he apologized, I accepted. I apologized and he accepted.

We watched Star Wars today...maaan...it was crazy. Kids everywhere! Don't get me wrong, I mean, kids are cool, that's one of the reasons why I want to be a pediatrician. But the kids at the theatre were talking, kicking the chair, and one of them threw a soda can at me. I can tell Jr wanted to yell at them...but I told him not to. *THANKS*

It was a good movie...line was looong...it was only long trying to get a seat...and we ended up getting a seat in the front...I felt blind or something..but it was good.

Oh yeah...just so that there isn't any confusion or anything...in my last entry, when I wrote, "Whatever...I just wish that it would have been a good night though...I mean, it was me and Jr's first and last dance."...I didn't mean that Jr and I broke up or anything, I just meant that, since prom is the last dance for seniors, and it was the first dance that Jr and I ever went to together...that it was our first and last dance...you get it? We might go to more dances...I don't know...I was just saying...and yeah.

Well yeah...one more week till it's me and Jr's one year anniversary...maaan...one year already??? Time is moving fast. And it's one more month till I graduate. It's fricken crazy!

Well yeah, don't know what else to say. Jr might come over and hang out...we're gonna watch Star Wars part I...hehe.

Kay, that is all.

Yes, prom was last night...and I'll tell you a little bit about what happened...

Jr and I...and the rest of the group TRIED eating out at this one restaurant where we got reservations for...but we got lost. The group sort of separated...there were like 5 cars with us. And well, 2 got lost...me and Jr, and Cat and Alexis. And well...Jr and I got lost for like 2 hours, then we decided...eff the restaurant, let's just go to the dance...then we ended up getting lost for like an hour or so.

When we finally got to the dance...I was irritated and I took it out on Jr. I mean...who wouldn't be irritated after getting lost for 3 hours? It wasn't much fun. So...Jr and I were mad at each other...then I remembered telling him how much it would suck if we got into a fight at prom...so I just said sorry...and I really meant it to. I mean, it wasn't his fault...who wouldn't be lost at La Jolla? It's fricken crazy over there...I'd be lost within 5 minutes.

So, we didn't take pictures until everything was good...and when we did take pictures...it was like 9:00 already. We danced, he ate the yucky food, and we took the center pieces home.

It's hard gathering for a picture...we TRIED getting everyone to take the picture for Morse Code...but everyone kept on leaving...and then, once again, I got annoyed. I felt so bad for yelling at everyone..."HEY CAN YOU STOP WALKING OVER HERE...THANKS!"...I have a very loud voice when it comes to yelling...maaaan...that was annoying. We couldn't take the real pictures because well...not everyone wanted it...so we just took camera pictures...with a grip of cameras. I just wanted to get up and leave because I was missing like 30 minutes of the dance.

And oh yeah...the dress that I wore...a lot of other people had it too...oh well...I don't really care...it was a last minute dress anyways.

I wanted to eat out with the group after the dance since I couldn't eat before with them...but they took too long and Jr was hungry. So, I ended up getting mad because I really wanted to go with them...and I was cranky because I was really sleepy...and I was annoyed because my brothers kept on calling me.

So, Jr got food, we went to his house so he can eat the food...and then he dropped me off home.

Maaan...I know wanted a "magical night" and everything...it just sucks that I didn't really get it. I mean, I was annoyed, cranky, irritated, and mad.

Whatever...I just wish that it would have been a good night though...I mean, it was me and Jr's first and last dance.

Anyways, WHATEVER...that is all.

Yes, prom is today...and I got my dress last night at 8:30...it's an okay dress I guess...but I guess you can say that it's not a "prom dress"...you know, not fancy and hella expensive with all them designs on it and crap. It's simple...it's a Chinese dress. That me and Jr's theme...Chinese. He's planning to borrow his sister's boyfriends Chinese suit...and I have my dress with some chopsticks in my hair and my chucks.

There was this one dress that I wouldn't mind having...but it $140...I would have bought it, if I didn't have pay $65 for the other dress that the stupid dress maker made...damn...I'm gonna be angry about this for a while. I really wanted that dress too...I would have got it, I mean, I had the money and everything, but I felt bad because I'm spending so much for prom and I don't even have a job. I don' t know...whatever.

It's just another dance...I've been to at least 10 dances my whole entire highschool life...I don't think prom will be any different.

I just wanna have fun...that's all I want...I don't care anymore because of that damn lady...she ruined it. Fuck it...I'M GOING TO HAVE FUN...I better have fun.

I don't care about the dress anymore...I don't really care about how I look...I just want to have fun.

Like I said before, it's just another dance.

That is all.

Last night, my at'e Frances and I went to Carlsbad to fix up my dress. We went to a family friend that fixes wedding gowns and other dresses and stuff. I didn't get home till 11:30...maaan...I was soo tired.

You know how when you get a dress altered (I don't think guys would know though...but yeah...girls should know what I mean) and there are pins practically everywhere so that the dressmaker can remember what to do with it. Well, I was changing out my (hideous) dress and they asked me to change into a different one...while I was dressing out of my dress, with all the pins in it...one of them punctured my ass. Maaan...that hurt like hell. It literally went inside...and I didn't want anyone helping me with it because well, I was on my period...and that would be hecka gross. So, I had to pull it out myself. Maan...that effing hurt! I also got cut on my thumb...but that didn't hurt as much as the other one.

Well, hopefully the dressmaker can fix it...I have to pick it up on Friday...which is prom day, so hopefully everything will be good. I'm still a little scared that things might not go right...well, I'm more worried about the dress...and then I'm also worried about my hair, what to do with it and hoping that there will still be time for it to get fixed.

Did I mention that prom is irritating me? Well, if I didn't...then...PROM IS IRRITATING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME.

Anyways...I'm in 5th period...so...yep. I have to go now...

That is all.

Hey everyone...guess what I got?...

My fricken period! Damn it...prom is 3 days away...and I get my period today. WTF?! I know that before I wanted my period...but not anymore...I WANT IT TO GO AWAY!

I still hate my dress...me and my friend are going to Carlsbad to TRY to fix the mess that the dumb ass dress maker that we went to created. I still can't believe that I had to pay $65 for the thing she called a dress...I'm soo pissed. Instead of prom being a "magical night"...right now, it's looking like a "dark nightmare"...I'm stressing over a fricken dance! Everyone is spending a grip of money...and why? Because "it's prom"...that's everyone's excuse. "It's prom", "It's only for this one night"...etc. I'm starting to hate that excuse. Whatever man.

I'm just really irritated...

That is all.

Hey…check this out…it’s really sweet. I got this from Karen (Told you that I’d mention you… *smile*), and she got it from the Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul III

"Dear Special Boy,

I do not know who you are, or where or when we will meet, but I do hope it is soon.

I pray that when we meet and fall in love, you will love me, for me, and not hope for someone who is thinner or prettier. I hope you won't compare me to girls who may have brighter smiles. I hope that you will make me laugh, take care of me if I get sick, and be trustworthy.

Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you first, but please don't be afraid to kiss me, I won't slap you or push you away. I'm sure your kisses will be perfect. When we go on a date, please don't stress about where to take me; what's important is that I'll be with you.

If I cry, please know it isn't because of you, just hold me close, and I’ll heal quickly. And if it is because of you, I'll heal just the same.

And if we decide to break up, please understand that I may be bitter, but I’d like to be your friend if you'll let me. I promise to remember that you have feelings too, even though you'll never admit it, and when you are ready we'll have a friendship.

Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, or if something just doesn't sit right. I would like you to always be honest with me. If I have a bad day, I hope you will shower me with confidence and smiles.

I hope you don't think I'm asking too much of you. I hope you understand that I’m a little bit nervous and very scared. I wish I could tell you how or when we will meet, and if we will be in love forever. Every relationship is a new game of cards, and...(Sigh)...I've never been good at cards. But I will try my best to be kind and love you dearly for all that you are, without expecting too much from you..."

Yours always,

(Don’t know the person who really wrote it)

Me and Jr's relationship is not a "normal" one...if there is such a thing.

This whole week I got to see him. I mean...I'm not complaining or anything...it's just something that I'm not really use to.

We usually see each other once every week and we'd talk to each other 3-4 times a week...but now that he's going to be working at Balboa, we're going to be talking to each other more and seeing each other more.

I'm not mad or anything like that...I'm happy that he's closer...I just get scared that he might get tired of me or something...but he said that he wouldn't...so hopefully he won't.

I'm seeing him again tomorrow for prom pre-sale...and guess what...I HAVEN'T GOT MY PERIOD YET!!! damn it. And oh yeah...did I mention that I have to wear glasses now? Maan...after all the years of eating carrots...it didn't do crap for me. My vision is like a 20/50...so my right eye is all good while my left eye is effed up. That sucks. That's probably why I've been getting head aches lately...because of my vision. Whatever...Cat said..."We can look like dorks together..."...I say..."SUUSSH!". Glasses are cool though...I just wanted to be the one person in my family who didn't wear them.

Anyways...I'm getting sick and my allergies are working up because the damn weather keeps on changing. Since my allergies are working up...I'm getting red eyes...maaan...

Ya know what else? Prom is getting me pisssed off because it's sort of stressing me out. I really want this night to go really good (well...whatever)...but I dunno...my dress isn't all that great. I still don't know what to do with my hair either. Damn it.

What was this blog about again? Oh yeah...me and Jr's relationship not being normal...sorry...I tend to get off the subject a lot. It may not be normal but I care and love the guy...so that's gotta count for something.

Anyways...that is all.

To whom it may concern:

I hate it when we fight.

I hate it when we don't talk.

I hate that we're fighting.

I hate the feeling that I don't know who you really are.

I hate crying for you.

I hate how my eyes are after crying the entire night

I hate being mad and sad all the time.

I hate calling and you're never there.

I hate the feeling that I have thinking that you don't care.

The thing is...I love you more than you know. But sometimes...I don't know what to do with you.

Sincerely
Kat

P.S. That is all.

Sooo...prom is coming up...and you know what? I'm scared that I might have my period during the time of prom. If that DOES happen...that's gonna suck.

For the first time in my life...I REALLY WANT TO HAVE MY PERIOD! Just so that I won't have it during prom. I mean...what girl wants to have their period during prom? NO ONE!

Everyone should know what every girl looks forward to during their senior year is prom. And see...I usually have my period around the 17th...AND PROM IS ON MAY 17TH!. Maaan...

It's so weird...I'm like complaining that I don't have my period...and that I really want it...NOW!

I guess...hopefully it'll come...but not during the 17th. That's gonna be a biznitch.

Anyways...that is all.

I'm baaaack...

Staying away from the internet was hard. I did go online though...but that was in 3rd period (the class that I hate) when the (idoitic) teacher wasn't doing anything...I just checked my mail. And I think I went online to text some people...that's all. Nothing really big.

Let's recap on what I have been doing lately...STUDYING! On Wednesday, me, Val, Ailene, and Kat went to the chula vista library for like 2-3 hours...studying math and eating cough drops. I missed the free ice cream for Baskin Robbins...it's okay though. I heard that it was a long ass line and that you can only get ice cream once because they give you a stamp or something...that's waaack! Ben & Jerry's was better...short line, fast, and you can go back as much as you want. Thursday, Kat went to the Saves The Day concert and Ailene went shopping...so it was just me and Val studying at her house. We sort of watched Princess Diaries and Now and Then...both were really good movies...and we studied too...sometimes. Friday...me, Val, Ailene, and Jr (Amor) went through the Chula Vista Starbuck's drive thru...that was cool. Chocolate Brownie Frap...hmmm...yummy. Haha. Then we met up with Kat at the library and she brought along her little cousin Joy-joy. Little did we know...the library closing like in 15 minutes after we got there. So we just went to Café Solloto (sp?) that was cool...I think Joy was bored though. She cute. Hehe.

And...today. Saturday. I was really stressing over the test that I couldn't sleep and when I did, I only got like 5 hours of sleep...that's not enough! But...I got ready and Kat picked me up...we went to pick up Charlie...and then to my house because I forgot the check...stupid me. Met up some people at MacDonald's...got hash browns (yummy)...then to the 7-11 near the SDSU...got some Arizona Ice Tea...and then to SDSU. The test was a biznitch...but the people who were giving out the instructions were pretty cool...didn't have much time for the English part...but had more than enough time for math. I think I did pretty good at math. I was a little pissed for the English part though. Whatever...scores come like next week.

Went home...and then went out with Jr. We watched Spiderman...that was a good movie...ending was...bleh. Jr bought me a gameboy advance...yey! Haha. I love my boyfriend. Last week was his last week up at Camp Pedalton (sp?)...I think he's sad. :( I hate it when Jr is sad...I especially hate it when we're not talking. But anyways...it's gonna be different having him come home everyday...but I'm happy...just hope that he is.

I added more crap to my info...I might add more...when I feel really bored, which will probably be soon.

Well...got church tomorrow, doing the usual ushering thing...I LOVE YOU JR (I still haven't given him this address...but...that's how I feel).

That is all.