I look back at my life, and I realize, that things are getting better...very slowly, but it's getting better.

When I first moved here, I was this little "shy and innocent" girl, who hasn't experienced much of her life due to her dad's restrictions. But now, he's become more lenient. The only thing that I have to do in order to keep him nice is doing well in school and listening to him. It sounds so easy, and yet, I could never actually do that, do well in school and listen to my dad. My brother was looking at this picture of me, and he said, "yeah, that's why you USED to be a nice girl"...I thought to myself, used to be? I mean, compared to some of my friends, I'm really good. But I guess I shouldn't compare myself to anyone.

You know what I thought about? The worst criticizer is yourself. I don't know if someone already quoted that or anything, it's just something that I've always thought about. And it is true. Right?

I guess you can say that I've had my fair share of relationships, although, I don't really count the relationships that I had back in junior high, the only relationships that I would actually count are the ones that lasted a year or more. The first "real" relationship that I had, was also the first relationship that I had in San Diego. I mean, yeah I'd be talking to guys and stuff, but he was my first relationship. Yeah, as you probably know, it was the guy that I despise the most now, the one that caused a lot of trouble with my old "diary" page, the one that took me a year to totally get over him, the one that I tried being friends with so many times. Before, I was so desperate that I would do almost anything to get back with him. I thought that my life wouldn’t be “complete” without him; I thought that I needed him…every now and then, I look back and I’m so ashamed of myself. I hear things about his life, I don’t know why I do, people just tell me, and me being curious, I listen, and I realize that I’m doing way better than he is. Sometimes I just want to see him so I can throw it in his face and say, “Yeah bitch, now what? I can do better than you, you’re nothing and you’re pathetic.” Something like that.

May 26th, Jr and I began our relationship…it was a relationship that we both thought wouldn’t last long, a relationship that we thought wouldn’t be serious. I remember always thinking that he’s cheating on me and he’d be thinking the same. This relationship was difficult in the beginning, it was sort of like a long distant relationship…I only got to see and talk to him during the weekend. And I guess that’s why we both thought that this relationship wouldn’t last. I was kinda confused about the relationship, I had doubts, I didn’t think that he really cared for me. Our first break changed that. February 3rd, the break was over. I realized that I really care and love him and he realized the same. I never actually thought that I could feel about someone the way that I do for Jr especially after the last relationship. This relationship is totally different than the last one, well, it’s different from any relationship that I’ve ever had…a good type of different, and I pray to God every night to say “Thank you” for him. Just hearing his voice can make me smile and seeing him can make me really happy. I don’t know why, but I just can’t imagine myself without him.

When I first moved here, I didn’t think that I would like it very much. I told myself that Hawaii would always be the place that I want to stay at. But when I think about it, I don’t really want to live there anymore, just wanna visit. I mean, you’re on an island…you can’t do very much, whereas in California, you can drive to Washington or something.

I realized that I don’t really know my mom’s side. Sometimes I feel as if my dad doesn’t want me to visit them or something. I think that he’s afraid that I might want to stay there, because my older brother wants to move to the Philippines. Yeah, some of you might be thinking how can I be half Chinese when my mom’s family lives in the Philippines…well, they’re Chinese people that live in the Philippines. I want to get to know them, be close with them, hopefully one day, I’ll get the chance.

I have so much ambitions, I want to fulfill all of them, but sometimes I’m afraid that I won’t even come close to them. I’m afraid that I might get sidetrack and fail. The last thing that I want to do is fail. I don’t want to be one of those people that failed, and they’re last resort is to join the military or something.

I think the highlight of my high school life would probably be being in Drill Team. JV year was the best. I miss being a part of a team. I mean, I don’t regret leaving R.O, I’m SO glad that I got out when I did. It gave me a chance to at least enjoy my last year of high school without worrying about competitions and being tired during practices. But I do miss being a part of a team. I think I’m going to join something when school starts.

Well yeah, just some of my thoughts. I have a tendency to think…a lot. I just think about anything and everything…Jr knows. Sometimes I daze and sometimes I think. But yeah…just wanted to jot them down.

Oh yeah, this has nothing to do with my thoughts or anything…but I got electrocuted. How you ask? I was taking out a plug, and I felt this weird feeling…and in my mind, I was like, “What’s that feeling? Oh crap, I’m getting electrocuted, MOVE YOUR HAND KAT!” Yeah, I told She, and she was like, too bad you couldn’t read the future…well, something like that, I forgot. And Abby was like, good thing it wasn't too “shocking”…something like that. Haha. Abby was trying to make a joke, it was pretty funny.

And oh yeah, one little note...RUTH IS DARK.Haha. :P

Anyways…yep…that is all.

I miss hanging out with the "Lunch people"...we don't call ourselves that, I'm just lazy to be naming all of them. They band was playing at Jenilee's party...it was fun, just seeing them again. Cat and I complain that they never call us up to hang out and stuff...I don't know. It's okay I guess.

After the party Jr and I just went to his house and watched T.V...went home at 9:30.

My friend is here from Hawaii...Abigail, we've known each other since 7th grade, but my dad was being a biznitch that he wouldn't let me out on Sunday...he said that I go out too much, which I think is a bunch of bull caca...if anything, I hardly go out. Always have to be home before 11...argh. Whatever.

My brother came home from the Philippines...got some stuff from relatives. I got a Prada bag, wallet, 3 pairs of earrings, 2 bags, a couple of shirts, and my brother bought me "A walk to remember".

Hm...yeah, blog entries have been boring...sorry. Been kinda busy with school...and it gets really hard waking up at 6:50 in the morning...just 7 more days. Finals are on the 9th...*scary* I really hope I get an A.

Anyways, have to do homework. That is all.

Just wanted to say...HAPPY 14TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY JR..."Jerome" haha.

Yep, it's been 14 months...pretty long. Huh? It's been a great relationship. One of the best ones that I've ever had.

We watched Austin Powers: Goldmember. That was an alright movie, thought that it would be better, but eh, it's alright. We went with my little brother and his friend. Me and Jr were teasing him, because well, his friend was a girl. Jr was saying, "Ronnie has a daaaatte..." Over and over, and I put him on speaker so my little brother can hear him. It was funny. And you know how in the movies when guys "pretend" to yawn and they try to be slick and put their arm around the girl? Well, Jr kept doing that to me suggesting that Ronnie do the same, but he didn't. Instead, my little brother was kinda distant with her, I guess it's okay, I mean, it's not like she's his girlfriend or anything. He said that he was distant with her because me and Jr were teasing him. It was pretty funny though.

I'm tired, SOMEONE took up all the space in my bed and almost made me fall. I'm not mentioning any names or anything...*ahem JEROME ahem* Haha. I still love you Jr.

Anyways, school is almost over and it's getting fricken hard! Whatever, I only get like 10 days of summer. Wack!

I finally got insurance! But ya know what? My dad is waiting for registration now...argh.

Okay...that is all.

Aww...my poor boyfriend got his wisdom teeth pulled out. Yep...he's been in pain lately. I can't even make him laugh because it hurts him. But that's kinda hard ya know? Not laughing with Jr. I tried, but it didn't really work. I end up hurting him at least 3 times whenever I see him. *Sorry* The day that he got them pulled, I went over to see how he was. His cheeks were sooo big. Poor thing. I fed him cup o' noodles. Yup...I FED HIM. Haha. And while he was sleeping, I was fanning him and I was watching "A walk to remember". We were supposed to watch it together, but he fell alseep...it's understandable...he was on drugs.

He didn't have work from Monday-Wednesday, so after school I went to his house to take care of him. Aren't I sweet? Hehe. Yeah...Jr called me nice for the first time. WHOA huh? Haha. Yeah, he's always calling me mean! I don't know why. Haha. And since he was on drugs, I had to drive him to the places that he wanted to go. It sucks that I can't drive my car yet...I don't even know why...why is it taking so damn long? Eh...whatever.

3 more weeks of school...which equals to 12 days! Yes...we're almost done!!! And that means I get to sleep in. Ahhh...

Uh...not much going on. I think I might be going to Jamie's debut with Cat...and maybe Jr, if he wants to go. "It's going be like a Drill Team reunion or something" -Alison.

So yeah...like every other entry, I'm ending with...That is all.

Long lines, screams, and thrills. 6 flags/Magic Mountain (whatever you guys call it) was fun!!!

Woke up at 6:15, got ready and Jr picked me up at 7. People that came were Kim, Theo, Jr, Me, Jr’s cousin and her friend, and Jr’s uncle.

We didn’t ride as much rides as we did last year…X was closed. Well, see, I’m the time of person that isn’t fond of roller coasters, so I wasn’t all that bummed out when we found out that X was closed.

The sucky thing about going to 6 flags is the weather, because it's usually hot and the long lines. Damn...you wait in line for like 1-3 hours for like a 30 second-2 mintues ride. The wait wasn't that bad, well, maybe because we were telling each other riddles and playing games to pass the time...it was funny trying to make Kim and Theo answer me and Jr's riddles...but Kim and Theo's riddles were hard too. But eh...it was fun.

The rides that we rode were, Déjà vu, Cyclone, Water rapids, Colossus, 2 rides that I don’t know the name of, Batman, and Goliath.

Déjà vu was scary but fun. But I think that the scariest ride was Goliath. Yeah, I rode Goliath last year but this year…the ride was sort of broken. See, the ride broke down and some people were stuck in their seats, but Kim, Theo, and Jr really wanted to ride this ride, as for me, I was just going wherever they went, it didn’t really matter to me. So, we stayed in line while some people left. I got really scared because I hear stuff in the news ya know? Talking about people getting stuck and all that other crap, and I didn’t want that to happen to me. They knew I was scared, they know I’m scared to go on any ride…but I went. I prayed that the ride wouldn’t break and THANK GOD that it didn’t. I was so relieved! But damn…that 1st drop is a bitch.

What made me smile was when Jr was like… “Kat, I need to tell you a secret…” and I didn’t want to hear it because every time he says that, he clocks in my ear, but he PROMISED that he wouldn’t…and he didn’t. He said… “I’m madly in love with you” *sigh* that was sweet!

On the ride home, I fell asleep on Jr’s lap…it was nice. Jr was happy too, because he said that I’m comfortable being with him now and he also said that this event brought us closer. That’s the way I feel too. I felt that way last year also…me and Jr getting closer and everything. It’s great.

Yep…came home at 2 something…my brother was bitching and complaining yet once again that I didn’t call them and that I didn’t answer the phone or whatever…damn…you swear it was my fault! The phone wasn’t working damn it! Whatever.

Hm…this has nothing to do with yesterday or anything, but I see that I’m having another guestbook hater. How about you just leave your name or something…talking about my “blog fucking eats wang” or some shit like that. WHATEVER. Oh yeah, I erased it so yeah, you guys can’t read it. I erased it because it was a pathetic useless waste of my guestbook. Words from the guestbook hater. The IP address of the guestbook hater is…66.123.252.107

And…that is all.

You know what I hate about summer?

I hate how it's really hot. The type of weather that I like is sunny with a cool breeze. Why can't summer be like that?

The thing that I really hate is that the ants come out to bug. Seriously though...there's like ants everywhere! I saw a grip of ants in the cabinet where we put the chips at and ohmigosh...they just wouldn't stop coming! After I killed the ants that I saw, at the time, I THOUGHT that I got rid of them for good, but like 5 minutes later, here comes more. I tried waiting for them one time, you know, to see where they come from so I can raid their place or whatever...but I got inpatient and they wouldn't come out while I was waiting for them. But once I left, out came the ants. Maaan...killing them made me feel all itchy. You know how when you see a grip of bugs like ants or cock roaches, you feel itchy? Well, yeah, I felt really itchy and I felt them crawling on me. Eck! I also hate how while I'm watching t.v. or something, I'd feel something crawling on me, and it'd be an ant. Argh...sometimes I wished that they were extinct or something.

Eck...whatever.

Yey...6 flags on Saturday.

And...that is all.

Guys with slacks, long sleeve button up shirts, and cheap ties (well, it looked like cheap ties)…yep, car sales men. Had to deal and see them for the past 2 weeks.

See, at first I thought that I was getting a 2003 Toyota Corolla…I really liked that car too, well, mainly because it reminded me of a Lexus. Hehe. I was planning to get a Toyota Corolla CE…the cheapest one. Ya know, no power locks or power windows or cruise control…but it had a cd player and air con. I was going to get it for 15,200 out the door…getting a Corolla LE was like a 2,000 something more…but it had everything. But…I didn’t really mind getting a CE. Anyways…it took me awhile to find a dealership that would sell the car for a cheap price.

So, we were at Rose Toyota…the car would have been there within 2 days…a silver 2003 Toyota Corolla CE. We were sooo close into buying it. Until my dad wanted to go to the Honda dealership to see cars over there…so…we went. After like 4 hours there, we came out with a 2002 Honda Civic LX, and paid 16,000 flat. It was totally unexpected. I mean, we researched the Corolla…I mean, I researched it, but the Civic…maaan…I never even looked at it. I mean, we were really set on the Corolla and I was sooooo close into getting it. But eh, like what Myka said, “a car is a car”…and it’s true. So it’s a okay. At least I have a fricken car already! Yep, it was all the power stuff but no cd player. It’s okay, I can put one in there myself. Maybe one with a cd changer or something. I dunno. We’ll see.

Anyways…just wanted to write that down.

YEY…I GOT A CAR! Haha. Okay. That is all.