Goodbyes are rarely easy,
Especially if that person has made an impact in your life.
Of course, goodbyes MAY be easy if that person never benefited your life,
& therefore, their absence would make no difference.
The best goodbyes are the one that happens slowly.
The strength of the relationship becomes weak,
People stop making the effort to communicate or reach out,
A falling out happened & you just grew apart.
A friend turns into an acquaintance with the occasional “Hi” or “Let’s have lunch sometime & catch up.”
But what’s the point?
It becomes awkward & it feels as if you’re getting to know a stranger all over again.
Sometimes this “friend” is actually a “frenemy”
Frenemies that serve no purpose except for being nosy in your life & competing with you.
Complete BULLSHIT.
Those goodbyes are easy as well.
My personal problem is that I become attached easily.
I let people in my life,
& I like to believe the good in them.
I trust too easily.
Some people have a wall built up where trust needs to be earned,
For me, I give it for free but when it’s lost, it’ll never be the same.
I’ve been walked on, used, & abused.
Each time it happens, I become surprised, hurt, & confused.
Why is it so difficult to tell the truth & be honest?
What did I do to deserve this?
Is this God’s way of telling me that I have to choose carefully with who I allow to become close to me?So many questions that run through my mind.
I take each painful experience as a learning lesion.

Lately, I have been focusing on myself.
Being with family & hanging out with friends.
Exploring new things & meeting new people.
It’s the benefits of being single.
To not feel the obligation to spend time with someone & to go to their functions.
I admit though, at times, it does get lonely.
Especially when most of your friends are in a relationship or nowadays, their own family.
When you’re single, you’re either focusing on yourself, being chased, or being the one to chase.
We’ve all been on one end of the spectrum.
We have our phones near us seeing who’s calling or even texting us,
Letting us know that that person is thinking of us.
It’s flattering.
We’ve probably toyed with feelings or had our feelings be toyed with.
There are the what ifs that come into our mind.
We let people linger just in case our minds are change about them.
Or “they grow on us”
Or we wait until their mind is changed & that person chooses us.
Texts & conversations are decoded, broken down into sections, & discussed with friends to decipher what things really meant.
It sucks & it’s painful either way.
& we never know why we allow it to happen or why we make it happen.
The only hope & what I have been trying to do, is to be honest.
Explain how I feel & what I think.
Of course timing as to be planned out because you don’t want to think too ahead of the game.
Yes, as much as some people deny it, being single is a game.
When a person is honest about how they feel,
We have to accept it & know that it’s okay that they don’t feel the same or that we don't feel the same.
Simply saying, “I don’t feel the same about you & don’t want to lead you on” can go a L O N G way.
It saves time & you might possibly gain a friendship.
Over time of course, feelings don’t just suddenly disappear.